Why did God choose me?

For my anniversary of priesthood reflection, September 4, 2004. Sorry, these are just scattered thoughts. WHY DID GOD CHOOSE ME? I am not worthy? ABRAHAM was a bit stubborn guy. Yet God called him, answered the call of God and led his flock and at old age. I answered the call of God a bit late. I enjoyed the world in my own way. I sinned and made mistakes too. Yet God called me. It is not my past and in my own doings that God has called me. He wanted me for what I will become. MOSES was a great man, who had a big role in the freedom of the Israelites. But MOSES was a murderer and ran away from facing the responsibility. He killed an Egyptian and wanted it hidden. When he was found to be guilty, he escaped. Yet God brought him back to his own people for a mission, setting them free through the wilderness. There are many other saints, who were naughty and adulterous, sinners, who squandered riches, yet they came back to the church, because God saw of what they could become in the future. God wanted to show them the NEW TEMPLE, that is Jesus. It is the same with me. I said I am not worthy, but when Jesus called me, He called me to be in that temple, who is Himself. That is why I get the privilege to raise His Body and Blood and pronounce: Through Him, with Him and in Him. In the unity of the Holy Spirit, all glory and honors are yours Almighty Father, forever and ever. Amen”. My feeling of unworthiness must not be an obstacle to say "yes" to the Lord. I am like an empty bottle, nothing of importance at all and useless in the eyes of many. Yet the Lord picked me and filled me up, so that I could refresh, enkindle and revive other people, His church. He could just leave me for nothing, but why did He pick me up? He does not consider our sinfulness, but on how could we be useful in is His plan of salvation. Only God knows why and how. On the Last Supper, Jesus told His disciples: “One of you will betray me….” All of them asked the same question IS IT I LORD? Only Judas who asked differently, IS IT I MASTER? Even the disciples were not sure of themselves. They know that they were innocent of the evil plans, yet each of them asked Jesus “Is it me my Lord?” You can never be innocent before the Lord. Why was Judas different? It really puzzled me a lot, but probably it was because of his certainty, that the plan of betrayal will happen. Then Peter betrayed Jesus while Jesus was on His way to Calvary. He denied Jesus three times. He was never innocent. He could not do anything, for he was afraid to be punished too. My feeling is that Peter was afraid to die. He was not ready to become a martyr for Christ. In verse 26-31 Jesus asked Peter three times “Peter, do you love me?” And Peter answered three times “Yes, Lord, I love you." If we love the Lord, we share in His mission. It is so easy to say I love you Lord, but to show it, even to the point of death is so difficult. In the letter to the Philippians 2:6, it is described so well what kind of God is Jesus. He did not claim equality with God, He emptied Himself, He humbled Himself, took the form of a slave and accepted death on the cross. And on the third day, He will be raised on high, on the Cross. My priesthood is a call for emptiness, it is a call of humility. It is for God what to do with my call, for this is also a call to be raised on high. In the mission, life is not easy. You have to empty yourself and trust in God. I put my life in Him, yet I always find myself in great fear many times, especially the social situation in this country. Remember the two thieves. One asked Jesus, if he is really God, He can come and they be brought down. But Jesus did not, instead, He raised up one with Him to paradise. Those who acknowledge their sinfulness and trust in the Lord will be raised to paradise. If I have to go down with the people, it may create an impact, but it could easily be forgotten. But if I raised the people to the Cross of Jesus, and let them feel the crucified Christ who saves us from sins, they will be saved forever. How? It is through the help of the Holy Spirit, I cannot do it on my own. WHY AM I STILL A PRIEST? O my goodness, what a difficult question to answer! First, I don’t find myself anymore like a working person or in an office of a company. I don’t see myself a career man anymore. Secondly, I love my life now. I cannot picture myself not being a missionary priest. When I vowed the Evangelical Counsels, I vowed for life. Thirdly, I am happy with the simplicity of my life, among the poorest of the poor. I have found my meaning. Lastly, God wants it. I am not in control of my life, He owns my life. So why am I still a priest? This is what God wants me to be. I am just His collaborator.