WHO AM I O LORD?

MEDITATION- HOSEA 11 August 11, 2004 12:00Noon (Just another scattered thoughts) RAUL, IT WAS I WHO TAUGHT YOU HOW TO WALK: ​For me this is one of the most striking images in the text. I imagine the Lord, like a mother, with all His patience exercising my limbs, feet and muscles so that I may learn how to walk. He is there also caressing me with love, and most of all, sacrificing everything for me. ​The Lord took me in His arms, full of promises, assurances and protection. He never allowed my fragile self to be destroyed, knowing how vulnerable my body is. I have full but creative imagination of the Lord, picking me up where I could do nothing, and with all His love and attention, poured on me what is lacking in my life. ​The Father took care of my fragile soul and nourished it with spiritual food. He used people, events and other expressions of love. Compared to a little child, my soul is completely dependent on Him. I could do nothing, like a very defenceless child- very vulnerable, or else I would die without their care. ​Yet, there were moments that my soul drifted away from Him, choosing the wrong way of life, following my personal and selfish desires. Many times, I chose to do things on my own, though they seemed really impossible. Yet, as I moved away, the Lord followed me even to the dangerous path of my life. He searched me and scrutinized my inmost part. WHO AM I O LORD? ​I asked the Lord many times about this question. Who am I that you have taught me how to walk and took me by your hands? You hedged me round with your stretched hands and drew me closer to you with your bands of love? These are questions that are to be asked often. Our hearts know what we are and who we are. Why the Lord has to waste time searching for me? ​I feel terribly special once again when you hugged me and raised me up like a child to your cheeks. I just do not know how to say ‘thank you.’ These words seem not enough to give back my gratitude. With your embrace and caresses, there is security and affection. ​The Lord has led me this far and yet, find many ways in bringing me back into His arms. He just could not give up His special one. Each one is special and could not let His special one to fall down. He wants each one to be back to the fold. GIVING YOU UP? NO! ​How could I give you up Raul? Or deliver you into the hands of the enemies? I invested so much for you, even at the expense of my Son’s life. All I want is for you to follow His example and not to give up people I have entrusted to your care. And I feel very strongly that the Lord draws my soul back with so much kindness and affection. ​That is very true. The Lord is full of affection and love. He is always overwhelmed with pity. Yet, how ingratitude we are sometimes to cause the Lord’s heart to bleed? He loves us so much. Even if He is angry, He will never let His anger overpower Him. At times, when I am angry, I would isolate myself from people or isolate people from me. So I destroy relationship and break communications. The Lord, even in my times of great distress, would always seek time to get me.

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