Raul Tabaranza blog

I would like to use some millennial terms as I express my gratitude at this moment and also of my departure for a new mission in South Africa. Frankly speaking, I am so very EAGANX (eager but anxious), specially that this would be my first time to work in this country. I am EXCITRRIED (excited but worried), if I would be able to perform my mission like I did fourteen years ago. As I am getting older (50 by now), the physical machine is no longer that fast. Every time I go and move to a new place, I always experience SEPANX (separation anxiety). I feel the pain of leaving, especially when I am already rooted to a place and with people. I have been asked many times what I am feeling right now going back to Africa. I am excited but not afraid. I told my community here in Sucat, that the only question I asked was that: Why I did not insist to the General Administration in Rome that I want to go back to my first love, MALAWI-ZAMBIA? But I guess, what is giving me the inner freedom...

Do you feel more refreshed by spending time with people or by yourself? Inasmuch that I love being with people, I also love being with myself. I have many good friends, and depending to situations, countries and premises, I go and see people, move around with them, eat somewhere, party in their houses and visit places, chat, laugh and cry sometimes, and I always feel great with them. I find meaning of a life shared among many, as I was doing in England, Philippines, Rome, Africa and in the missions. People just give me life in return. But at the end of the day, I always long for solitude, just to sit down in silence. I guess this is already in my system, I got use of just being by myself, reading and writing a lot, doodling or painting. I think I am more productive in my silence, though some are for personal hobbies. I always long for a spiritual connection early morning and at the end of the day, I just stay in the chapel, sit down even without any words to say. At any time ...

Dearest Tourists and Pilgrims, Peace and God bless. Happy feast day of the Sacred Heart. At this point, we just finished our recollection, and now, we are on individual prayers before the Blessed Sacrament. As always, I take this moment of prayers to write down my reflection very spontaneously. Why I write to tourists and pilgrims? We were asked to situate ourselves as both tourists and pilgrims and ask within where our hearts are at the moment, or where my heart is by now. I love the images, because I myself have travelled in many parts of the world as a missionary, for meetings or workshops, and most often, I do side trips for touristic purposes and as pilgrim too. I have travelled to many holy sites as a pilgrim. At first! I look back that Eastertime, when two disciples were on a journey to Emmaus, with sad faces and broken hearts because of what happened to the master. Then, without recognizing, Jesus joined them on the road and taught them the scriptures and what is goin...

IF MY BODY COULD TALK, IT WOULD SAY…. I would like to share my last two years in Zambia, Chikowa Mission, when I felt that I was slowly physically taken by malaria. This was in 2010-2012, when I was constantly attacked by malaria. I had my first malaria sometimes in 2007, four years after I arrived, and I was very confident that I would not get it. I was so used with the climate, the surroundings and the villages. I was moving evey week and sleeping in the villages was never a problem to me. My first attack was really terrible, and I thought I would die. In fact, I prayed already for forgiveness, then I also gave forgiveness to people who have hurt me. I lost all my energy, and literally, I crawled on the floor to open my door. I lost gradually my breathing, I was feeling very hot but also feeling very cold. Then I gathered all my power, and sat on the floor. That was the key, I breathed better. Slowly, I went for hot shower and was a bit relieved. I was brought to the hospit...

Morning visit of Bursars- Civita di Bagnoregio, Viterbo, Italy Italy’s City Of The Dead: Civita di Bagnoregio is a mystical, magical city. Inhabited by only 14 full time residen ts, it is located deep in the Umbrian hill country. The city rises from the Canyon below almost totally isolated from the civilization around it. The last bridge to the city was bombed in World War II. A single narrow foot path was built after the war to reconnect the town to its neighbor, Bagnoregio. Civita di Bagnoregio was constructed in the 8th century by Etruscans and was, for a time, part of the Etruscan’s principle route to Rome. Entry into the town is accomplished by climbing the steep roadway on foot, or relying on a motorcycle or motor scooter. It is a tourist destination only for the adventurous and the strong. The trek is almost impossible for the frail or those with small children. For visitors willing and able to climb to Civita, the journey ends by walking through the city gate, carved fro...

WHEN DID YOU MISS AN OPPORTUNITY YOU WISH YOU HAD TAKEN? WHY DID YOU TURN IT DOWN AT THAT TIME? When I was in the university, around 1987-88, I was nineteen years old then, I submitted a picture of mine to an agency through a friend in Manila, applying to become a commercial model. It was purely for fun and good luck, but I was also excited about it. I received a reply and I was asked to go to Manila to try, and I would start as a commercial model for toothpaste. They said they loved my smile. I was so happy for that. I come from a middle class family and I don’t have the resources for my stay there. My classmates offered to help me for the transport- boat fare. But I was so scared, what will happen to me in Manila? Where shall I stay? What will I eat? How will I survive? If there is no shooting, what will I do? And many other questions. I was not so brave enough to risk everything. I could have been a potential actor, who knows. But it was not the plan of God for me. My d...

HAVE I DONE ANYTHING THAT IS WORTH REMEMBERING? (Nursing the wounds of little children in the mission) This was around 2004-2012, in Chikowa Mission, Zambia. I remember, when I arrived there, the road was really bad, some don’t have a road at all. They only have small pathways, and for me to go to the villages, I really had to walk sometimes in the scorching heat of the sun. I got used of sleeping in the villages, mostly from Wednesday to Sunday, so I had more chance of visiting the people, praying with them, visiting the sick, anointing and giving communion, chatting with them, and reaching other Christians. I normally visited deep villages, there were no schools, no clinics except little huts made of mud and grass. Some of the outstations are very far, so we had to move as a team. Some youth to teach little children, Math, English, and others. In our team were women too, who had to deal with women and elderly, and some men or a Catechist to do some catechesis to adults. M...

SURPRISES OF LIFE O Lord Jesus, God of surprises, Thank you for the wisdom imparted in me, Thank your for the mission, This vocation is the biggest surprise in my whole life. When I look at myself right now, I am full of surprises how you prepared my life. My past reveals something, though some came through pains. You have allocated my life for something. As I do a lot of revisions in this year of formation I see that that my past is a ladder, That as I climbed up, I also struggled with fear and heights, Yet you have surprised me with immense strength beyond my understanding. Thank you dear Lord Your surprises transformed me into a strong person. Continue to instill in my heart The joy of being surprised by you. Amen. Fr. Raul B. Tabaranza, mccj

This happened just recently before covid time. I was in the village to visit some sick people. There were about seven old men and women in the list, sick and and old and they could not go to church anymore. I would like to talk only two of them, which I think was really touching for me. They brought me to an old woman. She was completely bent. She had a stroke in the past, limping and could not talk properly. I waited at the small sala of her house. When she came out, as if heaven was on her side, very happy for the visit, and really prepared herself. We started our prayer, then I anointed her, gave her communion and then we closed our prayer. We chatted a bit. I never expected that she asked somebody to prepare snacks for us. Then she gave me the two bottle of two-liter soft drinks. Besides that, she gave me an offering, big enough! Of course, I refused the offering, seeing of her situation. I really thought that she would need it more than I do. But she was very insi...

I would like to share another contemplation of mine, which for me is really meaningful. July 15th, 2006 ​There is a beautiful Psalm that I would like to start reflecting today, Psalm 131: A prayer of humble trust. “Lord, I have given up my pride and turned away from my arrogance. I am not concerned with great matters or with subjects too difficult for me. Instead, I am content and at peace. As a child lies quietly in its mother’s arms, so my heart is quiet within me. Israel trust in the Lord now and forever!” ​My soul truly feels I am that Israel, called for such a humble trust and confidence to the Master. I am that proud Israel, who turned away from God, whose heart is stained with sin and deceit, whose arrogance maybe hidden but manifesting. Today, my soul is called not only to acknowledge all my inconsistencies but also my failures and shortcomings. ​I love very much the image of the Child in the Mother’s Arms, peaceful and quiet, secured and given much warmth and protect...