Lukewarm in prayer

Thomas Merton said that: " If we really want prayer, we'll have to give it time, we must slow down to a human tempo and we'll begin to have time to listen. And as soon as we listen to what is going on, things will begin to take shape themselves." I really think about this deeply, because as if I live a busy life, and even if I pray, I feel I pray very little. I should say, I really spend a lot of time for personal silence and prayer, but I feel I pray little. I don't know why. I love what Merton said: "Today, time is a commodity, and for each one of us, time is mortgaged." Like time is about work and commitments, it is about office things, business and accounting. Time is about social media and many other forms of communications, mostly with virtual friends. We forget the time of God, the "kairos" moment, and I guess it brings us back into personal silence and prayer. Kairos is that qualitative time of life, the opportune time, the chance of new graces where our life is filled with God's moments; and the movements of God in our lives. WE SHOULD BE GOOD GUARDIANS OF OUR SOULS. I normally spend and hour in the morning and hour in the afternoon before prayer time, just to sit down in the chapel, pray, reflect, write some reflections and sometimes, I feel like an empty tablet (tabula rasa) or a blank cartridge. And for many times, even when I feel that I was doing little, I was doing actually a lot in my prayers or receiving a lot from the Holy Spirit in my reflections. Even if I feel barren, I don't give up, because I know that something is there for me. Even if sometimes, my feeling is lukewarm, I still sit down with God. We need to renew each day our relationship with God. We strengthen it each day rather, even if it is lukewarm. I would like to borrow the words of Merton, as Esther de Waal described it: "That what is lukewarm will spring again into living flame What is dry will become living water. What is dead and blind will return to light and life. It is true that our love for God Easily falls into tepidity and aridity When we do not come unceasingly back In truth, it is His love Which is at the same time The cause and the term of our loving knowledge of Him. It is His love that invites us to find Him everywhere In the scripture In nature In our own hearts In our own duties In solitude.

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