Raul Tabaranza blog

MY FATHER’S LONGING FOR MY SOUL October 28th, 2005 Eucharistic Congress St. Anne Cathedral Chipata, Zambia Dearest Raul, (Joseph Charles of the Crucified Christ) “Maybe you are not aware of it, but I have called you by your name, I know everything of you.” These words of the Lord entered into my soul and made its dwelling in my heart. The Lord has called me by name; He has given me a name ‘Raul’. But what is Raul for? What is its significance in my life as a priest today? I prayed over my name when I was a student, and up to now I marvel with my realization. Perhaps, my name is taken from ‘Paul’, the apostle who experienced conversion and wrote his accounts and many experience with the Lord, most of his letters were like apostolic letters to people, who souls he was guiding in spite of many people’s neglect. Yes, the Lord called me from the bosom of the apostle Paul, which could mean ‘fidelity’, for Paul remained faithful to Christ up to the end. This has become the greatest i...

December 31, 1999, while I was still a novice, I stayed before the crib, watching Mary's reactions towards the Infant Jesus, A prayer was formed in my heart, flowing, and full of emotion. Mary, the woman of my soul revealed to me something. MARY, MOTHER OF THE WHOLE WORLD Mary, my Mother of faith I am so amazed by your faith in me You have caught me by surprise because of your generosity Why are you giving your Son to someone? Why to me? My heart is so wicked and wretched I don't feel worthy for such a favour Many times I feel so little because of this responsibility Mother, you can see only trash in my heart Once you told me to carve a channel in my heart That I may let Jesus pass through it I ask your strength Help me to clean my heart And now you have blessed me Mother You have cleansed my soul How I wish I will no longer be thinking of sin That day after day, I would be worthy to embrace Jesus And press him into my heart The joy that I am feeling Mother is unsurpassa...

MARIA, DISTRIBUTRICE DI PACE Maria, Madre Santissima Tu hai dato a Gesu' un posto riposante nel tuo seno Tu hai lasciato il Cristo dormire nel tuo cuore Mi fai capace di dormire in pace Come il piccolo Bambino Profondo nel suo sonno Tu dai pace, come un fiume che sgorga dal tuo cuore La pace e' una fonte della tua vita interiore Un 'esppressione del tuo volere, affetto e amore Intagli un canale di pace in me, cara signora Lascia che le mie orecchie sentano il battito del tuo cuore Che e' il mio cuore che batte unito con il tuo Cara Santa Madre, Distributrice di Pace Tu hai gradito francamente la Parola Con un cuore pieno, con fede e amore Io raccolgo il mio vero essere per te Che la mia anima possa tenere il tesoro della Parola E riflettere profondamente le parole della liberazione Plasmami cara Signora Che io possa essere tenero come l'argilla Essere dolce e umile, semplice e puro Pace e' cio' che il mio cuore desidera per ora Chiudere i miei occhi, coprire...

I JOURNEY WITH THEM I am writing these messages out of my mind, perhaps, in many moments when I was feeling so lonely, down and arid spiritually. Those are moments when after bouncing back, I realized that a lot of things are really moving deep within me. There were moments in my journey when I feel I was walking under a deep and dark tunnel, my soul crying for help and longing for companionship and affection, but no one heard. Those were moments, alone in the dark, I cried out to my full voice, crying at the corner, sitting and embracing my legs, as if an abandoned child. I am using the title ‘I Journey With Them’ because I feel that I journey in the past with people who have been treading all walks of life in real suffering, emotionally and spiritually, and nobody understood them. In my case, I felt that I journey, nobody have seen what is going on inside me, even the tears of pains and sufferings. They have become precious moments, jewels in my missionary journey. CONTEMPLATION...

Dearest Fr. Teresino, Peace and God bless. Winged creatures are my favorite images, from caterpillars to grasshoppers, ants/termites to birds. At this time here in Chikowa, it is the changing of feathers of little birds, smaller than my thumb. They change color into red, yellow, blue, green, orange, gray, and black, depending on the season. By now, many of them are red-orange, and I often meet them while driving, or just even outside the mission house. I sat down silently, they have appeared and it allowed my imagination to run its roll of film. Silently, I entered into another sphere of my imagination, simply myself a HUMMINGBIRD. Yes, I was a hummingbird simply humming and chirping for my soul is given that sense of contentment and peace. I was that hummingbird who was simply that jealous why others have different colors and beautiful feathers. I was jealous and yet, I kept singing and humming my personal weakness, until they became my offering- that I cannot be everything...

DISTRESSED WITHOUT REASON I have looked back my last months’ journey in the mission, And realized that quite a few times, I was lonely, I was tired and exhausted, and I was in real aridity, My soul suffered such barrenness I felt the dungeon was too dark to follow. Yet, I knew deep inside me, There was joy and peace. My heart suffered from this- aridity without reason. My soul felt distressed not having a big cause. I compared my soul on the way to penitential road, On the process of suffering and partaking. Always, a the end of the dungeon, God reveals Himself and I came out bursting With joy and serenity, As if there was that ‘river of peace.’ This passing moment in my life Is always a guiding light for me. There was illumination, that, indeed, My missionary life is a mystery at all, And all I could do is to nourish my soul And to appreciate the high and low moments of my life. The Lord has never abandoned my soul, Even in the most tiring moments, In the scorching heat of the...

CONSUME ME MY LORD…. Raul Tabaranza Lord, I have a very materialistic fear Pride moves within me At times, I refused to go up to the mountain But rather be contented with the world I dream on a project But fear put it down Father, Fire that never dies Burn all my inequities Melt my anxieties with the tenderness of your love Absorb my whole being Set my heart ablaze Consume my soul and purify me Today, as you wish, I take off my sandals I will step on the holy ground and bare all my insecurities Tomorrow, I will set off for my mission Make the place holy as you are holy Allow the holy mission to become a part of me You are Providence Let your superabundance be overflowing I will never be able to do my best Without your milk and honey Consume me, absorb me Transform me, refashion me Make my mission holy For today, I will prepare the way For you to pass through the roads of the earth again. Amen

GO AND TELL THE PEOPLE WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE FOR YOU! I am choosing the gospel today for our recollection. It is not something new and the interpretations are always given to us in depth. But I just thought of exploring the gospel, hoping to find its meaning in our lives and how it would change the course of our life. To help you understand better, it is good to read the gospel again… GOSPEL (MARK 5:1-20) I would be basing also of its parallel gospels in Matthew 8:28-34 and Luke 8:26-39. I would be pointing out 5 aspects that I have seen in the text. Again, they are not very new to us, but let us just be open, hoping that they would ignite in us some sparks of light. 1. AUTHORITY: The gospel first of all reveals the inner authority of Jesus and His life of prayer. Jesus as we know rises early in the morning to pray; and seeks for a secluded place in the evening to pray. The authority of Jesus is clearly manifested in His words and actions. He has a voice of His own, as He...

What could I give back to you? What a beautiful experience dear Lord being created with your qualities! I am full of wonder and amazement, just thinking that you created me a human being, able to articulate my joy and to express my pains in tears, able to clasp hands in appreciation for people and nature and the rest of your creation. I am sitting down in this very early morning of the day, my confreres are still sleeping, darkness is still invading around, hearing the chirps of insects and the singing of the birds, appreciating the wonders of YOU in my life. How could I thank you for all of these? How could I ever pay you back for creating me like this? Wealth and riches I don’t have. They cannot even be considered payment- even just for the air that I am breathing now. I am poor and worthless and yet, you give me so much importance. I am nothing, a "nobody", and you gave me that dignity to be ‘somebody’ in your eyes, I don’t have the right to be proud, no right to boast, an...

EXULTATION OF THE HOLY CROSS Peace and God bless. Today is the Feast of the Exultation of the Cross. Most people call it as the feast of the Triumph of the Cross. This is practically an invitation for us, called to become "Modern Saints", to see the cross as a way of undergoing significant transformation. As I reflected on the cross this morning, it seemed clear in my heart that the way of the cross is for us- called to abandon ourselves to the Divine Providence. This is such a difficult task, and this demands the "totality in us"- every minute or every second. We religious and those in the formation are always on the go, traveling in a very complicated way of life. As I see it, things are done joyfully, seeing the greater demands, not of our own choices and preferences or advantage. We seek the cross ourselves, listening to the voice of God even in our complete darkness, knowing that there is nothing personal we could get from this endeavor. It is a cros...