Comboni in my life:
The birth:
I came to know the Comboni Missionaries when I was still working in the bank, through the World Mission Magazine. I saw the situations in Africa and Latin America, and suddenly I said to myself, this is the life I am longing to live, but not having in mind that it was already the start of my vocation, or missionary journey.
If I have to revisit my vocation, it really started with an experience of emptiness that I could not describe. I had a well paid job, I was on my own, I was free and living a life of abundance. But I was not completely happy. I was always in the monastery of the Carmelite Sisters, spending my time there for no reason, except that I normally go for morning masses. Sometimes, I just go there by day time, during weekends or holidays, and stay in the church in silence. Since I was young, I was already a thinking or reflecting person, at high school, I was already keeping journals. I was already dreaming to become a doctor to help the village or a teacher for the poor children. Probably, that was the birth. But my greatest influencers are my uncle and my brother, who are both priests and so well loved by people. I got used being surrounded with priests and sisters.
Maturity of my Comboni Missionary Vocation:
Aside my formation in the postulancy, novitiate and scholasticate, I guess the great experience of Chikowa really made me a mature Comboni Missionary. I was the one being evangelized, I was formed and seasoned by people. My acceptance and openness made it easy for me to live there in spite of the many difficulties.
Maturity of my missionary vocation was a process and it reached into fruition when I lived in the villages, sleeping in people's houses, eating their food, presenting myself as their companion. It was evangelization through presence that made my experience very meaningful. I thank God that I faced everything with calmness, with joy and with dedication. I did not find the mission as burden, though there were times that I really felt so drained physically and emotionally, plus the fact that I was susceptible to malaria and other illnesses. I told myself always: a sickly missionary cannot fulfill the purposes of the Lord. Prudence to health was a priority for me.
How did I discover the presence of Comboni in those days?
Another thing I instilled in my mind: " Wherever I go, whatever I do, I always carry an identity, I AM A COMBONI MISSIONARY." I cannot do things on my own or for my own behalf. It is always in the name of my community and the whole Combni institute. My mission is of Comboni, not of my name. Up to now, I believe that Comboni is my identification card, he is my passport and my travel companion. The mark of being a Comboni Missionary cannot be deleted in me.
PAINFUL JOURNEY OF A JOYFUL SOUL- LETTER TO MY PRIEST BROTHER FR. ATILANO TABARANZA
FR. RAUL B. TABARANZA COMBONI MISSIONARIES CHIKOWA PARISH PO BOX 511276 CHIPATA, ZAMBIA PAINFUL JOURNEY OF A JOYFUL SOUL November 9th, 2006 Dearest Ati, Peace and God bless. I am developing this little essay I made in my scholasticate and turned it into a letter, that you may find it closely related to me, being your younger brother telling you the journey of his soul. I hope that when time comes for my life to turn back to God, you will see how the Lord have winged my soul to sour up in heaven, like an eagle, up in the sky, focus even in the great brightness of the sun. I am sorry, I forgot the author who wrote that: ‘Our experiences unveil part of God's wisdom. They move us to ask questions and to seek answers about our faith, and the intimacy with the "Other." The Lord is always in disguise- in particular events, issues, memories, trials and successes in life. These may seem hard to understand, but the hidden God, in his silence, presents himself in particular ...
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